Rehab rewards. The scheme for heavy users

As if poor old Lindsay Lohan didnt have enough problems it now appears she is addicted to rehab. That would explain why she keeps going back. Each time she comes out she says that is it. She's clean. But then she slides right back in. And I see the attraction. It's like a hotel without the temptaion of a mini bar. I also understand they dont mark up the phone calls in rehab. What's not to love?
So it looks like Linsay could soon be back in again, racking up more points on her Rehab Rewards card.
But is rehab really the answer this time Linsay?
Do you think the DA will fall for the whole, 'Dont send me to jail what I really need is a 30 dasy in rehab.'

That wont wash girlfriend. Rehab dont work for you and they know it. I'm afraid they are planning on throwing the book at you this time and I'm not talking about the book called 'Picking roles in movies that dont suck!' which is one that you obviously havent read.

I have been talking with some lawyers in LA and we think we can cut you a new deal with the DA that will keep you out of jail. Offer to never act in a move again. Obviously you'll still be allowed to do tv commercials in the US and mexican soaps and be the hostess on Latvian Game Shows, so you wont go hungry. But no more movies. That is the promise you have to make us. Not so much me but the more inocent trusting types who see your name and face on every magazsione they ever pick up and stupidly think that becasue you are famous and an actress you must also be a good actress who does good films.
Lindsay this is your chance to spare more suffereing adn I think if you announced this move you would be overwhelmed with the support you would recieve from the movie goign public.