Lego and legging it.

So there I am in the lounge aged about 6, Lego all over the floor. And this was back in the day when Lego was just blocks. If you wanted to build a castle or space ship you had to build it out of blocks. Like actually think how to make it. Not like the lame, fully formed Lego they sell now where it is all done for you.

But that’s not what this rant is about.

So my box of Lego is all over the floor. The lounge looks like a bombsite. But I decide I want to go off and do some painting. Up I hop, but just as I am about to leave the room mum busts me with the old ‘Darling. If you’re finished with the Lego how about you tidy it away.’ And that was one of the things my mum taught me as a kid. Another thing she told me was that if I ate my crusts my hair would go curly. But that turned out to be bullshit. But the tidying up thing made sense.

If you make a mess you are only going to have to come back and tidy it up later, or live in the mess you’ve created and probably piss other people off at the same time. Either way you make trouble for yourself. So parents teach their kids to finish what they start or tidy up. Now the coalition of the willing didn’t heed this advice when they left the job half done in Afghanistan and ran off to invade Iraq. Pity, because now they have created two giant messes. It’s all too much for the Poms. They’re packing up and leaving Iraq. Job done. Well, not done actually. Things are a hell of a lot worse for the people in southeastern Iraq. The mission was to bring democracy and stability to them. They had Saddam and stability now they have democracy and chaos. Wonder which they prefer? The Poms will find it easier to bail on the Yanks now because they have a new PM. It’s like me tipping the Lego all over the floor then leaving it for my brother to play with. When it all gets too much he just walks out telling mum that he wasn’t really responsible for the mess because he didn’t make it. The yanks will pull the same stunt when the Democrats get their arses into the White Houser.

Of course what my brother and me really needed was an older stupider brother. One who would do whatever we said. That way when the Lego mess needed to be looked after we could have got him to come in a take care of it. Not tidy it up because he wouldn’t be clever enough to do that. Just kind of watch over it. Monitor the mess if you will. Me and brother didn’t have anyone like that. But the British and the US do. It’s called the United Nations.

China should stop toying with Taiwan.

When I was 8 years old I completely understood the China Taiwan situation. Every toy I ever saw had Made in Taiwan stamped on the bottom. What country wouldn’t want to claim Taiwan for itself?
But as I grew up, and became wiser and more informed I realised just how wrong I had been about the situation. There are plenty of other countries making toys that are a lot cooler. Maybe the Chinese leaders don’t know this. If they did I am sure they would lose interest in the place. Of course the Americans are always going to stick up for Taiwan. China getting in there would be their worst nightmare. First thing the Chinese would do is stop making the packets of little green American Soldiers, tanks and jeeps and start popping out packets of little red soldiers, tanks and jeeps.

America reminds me of my toaster.

So I was thinking about how I saw George Bush in Rome a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking about toasters. Mum still uses the toaster I grew up with. That thing has been through more bread than Michael Jackson. And I thought it would be the same when I bought my first toaster. I thought it was the start of a long happy relationship. But it wasn’t. Me and the missus are onto our third one now and the reason why is because they just don’t make things to last anymore. It seems to me the same can be said of Empires. I wonder if George pondered on the fact that the Romans Empire rose to power and stayed there for hundreds of years. But poor old America will be lucky to make a century as a superpower. Maybe that’s just the way things are in this fast paced world. Maybe trying to spread global influence takes a lot more than it used to. The disastrous wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are costing America lives, credibility and lots and lots of money. Will historians look back at Bush’s tenure as the beginning of the end of America the superpower? The Romans left us sandals, sewers, roads, gladiator films, aqueducts and Toga parties. America, we’ll always love you for your hamburgers, Hip Hop, Disneyland, Coca Cola, Prozac and Velcro. You will live on. The world will come to visit you and listen to tour guides talk about the days when America was the centre of the planet. And maybe in a few hundred years the leader of the current world super power will speed through the streets of Washington, gaze out at its buildings through the heavily tinted bullet, rpg and mini nuke proof glass and wonder where it all went wrong for the USA.