Paul Wolfowitz. What a complete banker.

George W Bush is the only world leader to come out and publicly say Paul Wolfowitz should keep his job. Of course this has nothing to do with the fact the Bush nominated him for the job as World Bank Top Dog back in 2005. No way. Bush obviously feels it is totally cool to score your girlfriend a promotion with a big fat pay increase at a time when your organisation is preaching fiscal responsibility to the world. So the pressure is building on Wolfowitz and he will go. It is just a matter of time till public opinion builds to the point where it is worse for Bush to back Wolfowitz than feed him to the dogs. Sometime soon Wolfy will get the call from the Whitehouse to say ‘ That’s it son, we cant take the heat anymore’ Pack ya bags help ya self to some money out of the safe, your out of here.’ I’m sure the Bush administration will be able to find another nice little job for the wolf somewhere else once things die down. Wonder if he will be able to keep a few souvenirs from his time at the World Bank, like his personalized stapler, the photo of him with Santa at last year’s World Bank Xmas party and his girlfriend.

The review panel who looked into what happened have faulted the banks Ethics Committee for not giving Wolfowitz enough guidance on how to avoid conflict of interest. Should we be reassured that an organization has an ethics committee? I mean ethics. Isn’t that something you just have? Do you need a committee to tell you what they are? Maybe if you are like a young kid going off the rails. But you would have hoped the boss of a small organization like the World Bank would have a handle on ethics along with honesty, integrity and knowing when to say ‘I made a gross error of judgment that the manager of the local supermarket would get the axe for so the least I can do is offer my resignation.

What is a World Bank anyway? Is that where spacemen get their travelers cheques before lift off? Do they have branches across the galaxy? When aliens come to earth I guess they would naturally open an account with the World Bank. But why don’t they have branches across the world? I haven’t seen anywhere.
The World Bank lends money to countries. What do countries offer up as security? Big things I guess. France probably put up the Eiffel Tower. Actually no they are smarter than that. I bet they tried to use Euro Disney. What kind of money does the World Bank give countries? I mean why would a country need to go to the World Bank and get money, cant they just make their own? Maybe you have to have a country to open an account at the World Bank. What kind of ID would you bring? A picture of your army and one of your flags? You probably get a World Bank ATM card. I guess the treasure would look after that. You probably wouldn’t have a normal chequebook. The World Bank probably gives out those really big novelty cheques that you see in telethons.

Pity poor Paris

We’ve seen Paris Hilton in her bikini, in Las Vegas, in crappy films, in a porno and now we might see her in jail. She’s been in thousands of bars now she is going to be behind bars. For driving her blue Bentley while disqualified. In the real world when you are fighting a prison sentence you hire a lawyer. In America you hire a publicist. But prison wouldn't be the end of the world for Paris. It can do wonders for your career. Just ask Martha Stewart. Everyone thought Johnny Cash did jail time and it just made him cooler. Maybe jail time will have an effect on the tone of her music (that could only be a good thing). Perhaps her lawyer could ask for a reduced sentence if she promises to take her album off the market and not to make music every again. Unless it is the soundtrack for another porno. Maybe she will come out with a new perfume – Freedom or Innocence. Paris’ mate Nicole Ritchie should get arrested (that wouldn’t be too hard) then they could make a new series of the Simple Life. The Hilton in Paris could theme some rooms like her jail cell and call it the Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton experience. When she gets out she can release a range of high fashion prison jumpsuits.
The judge says it was arrogance on Paris’ part. That she considered herself above the law of the common people. But she is. That’s why someone has started a petition to keep her out of jail, ‘Because she provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.’ The petition just might work. In America money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy innocence. Just ask OJ and Michael Jackson.

The Presidential race and sex.

Maybe it’s true, maybe America really is a shinning example to the rest of the world. A beacon of hope. A torch in the darkness. After all they are seriously considering the idea of considering a black man for president. It wasn’t long ago that most of them were salves. And as if that wasn’t enough, it also looks like a woman is also going to get to take a shot at the title. A woman! They run kitchens. What do they know about running countries?
The rest of the world might not be comfortable with this, but America says, ‘It’s 1907, lets lead by example’. …….…… But hang on a minute, it isn’t 1907. It’s 2007.

So maybe someone should tell the American news networks. I’m not American, black or a woman, but if I was any of those three I couldn’t help but be embarrassed by the way the American media goes on about Obama and Hilary. Especially Obama. As if it is a real breakthrough that a black person is even being considered for the job. I hate to burst any bubbles, but women and black men have been running countries for a quite a while around the rest of the world. Some of them are even quite good at it.

Now if America had a presidential candidate who was a black man who used to BE a white woman that might be something for the networks to get excited about. A black man or a woman? Sorry, that’s just catching up with the rest of the world.

Thought for the day

I found this on the footpath after lunch. I think it speaks for itself dont you.

Hairy back runway

So I was at the pools the other day with my daughter and there was this guy in the pool playing with his kids and he was hairy. Hairy like a caveman throw back. Guys like that usual wear thick gold chains because gold looks good on black and the thickness of the body hairy keeps the gold chain off the skin suspended on a bed of thick black hair.

This guy didn’t have a gold chain, but he turned round to reveal an equally hairy back. Except for this one little rectangular patch. It looked kind of strange. I started thinking how it might have happened. Perhaps his wife suggested they do something about his body hair predicament by waxing it. He would have thought, ‘No worries. Shirley does it all the time, how hard can it be. Then she would have applied the first small rectangular patch of cloth, ripped it off and a pain would have torn through him unlike anything he had experienced before in his life. One would have been enough. ‘You can’t stop now.’ Shirley would have said. ‘You have a little rectangular patch of pink skin surrounded by thick black back hairs. People will stare at you at the pool.’ ‘I don’t care.’ Hairy man whimpered as he crawled out of the room.

Or perhaps it didn’t happen like that. Perhaps Shirley ripped of the first patch and while Hairy man was inspecting it in the mirror he had an idea. ‘Hey Tommy come here.’ He shouted. ‘And bring your toy soldiers and that little toy plane.’ Tommy comes running into the room to find dad lying topless, on the floor, on his stomach. ‘Tommy, lets play ‘Bust the Columbian Drug Cartel’ says Hairy man. ‘The soldiers are about to raid a secret airstrip hidden deep in the Columbian jungle. Look, mum made a runway for you.’