A whale of a time in the Antarctic.

‘They started it!’ That seems to be the vibe coming from the Japs and Sea Shepard (the Greenies with attitude outfit).
Sea Shepard were complaining that the Japs were shooting at them, the Japs say they threw sound-emitting ‘warning balls’ and the Japs also claim the Sea Shepard posse, threw rotten butter and bottles containing an unidentified liquid…. Rotten butter? What’s up with that? Did they take a whole lot that they bought cheap on E bay or was it butter that became rotten while they were out at sea. How does butter go rotten? Cause you have so much you don’t get round to eating it all? Those Sea Shepard dudes are so busy saving the planet, no one has thought to save their arteries I’m guessing.
But come on Japanese whalers. A few pounds of rotten butter hits your little blood soaked floating harpoon platform. So what? In the words of Chopper Reid, harden the fuck up. Going crying to the world press because some expired dairy products get biffed at you, is hardly in the Samurai tradition is it?
As for the unidentified liquid, I, like you, naturally assumed it was wee,because that is the grossest thing I could think of. Almost as gross as standing knee deep in whale guts and blubber.

But back to the sound-emitting ‘warning balls’. Wonder what sound they make - ‘Fuck Off, Fuck Off, Fuck Off? or “This is a Warning! In a ball shaped device." It is very sci fi, I’d like to see one of those.
The photo in the newspaper was of three Japanese men in black swat team outfits. One had just thrown a sound-emitting warning ball, and the other two? Well they were video taping the thrower which when you think about it, is just reinforcing the whole Jap tourist thing.
How embarrassing.
Personally, I think if the whalers want to keep the Sea Shepard dudes out of rotten butter throwing range they should strap a live whale to the front of their boat with a sign hanging off it that says ‘Don’t come any closer or the whale gets it.’
Thats gotta cause a heated debate amongst the xtreme greenies.
I’ve also been having a think about butter substitutes for the Sea Shepards, incase their supplies go off again. The easiest solution is whale blubber. And where they go there is plenty of that lying around.

Tomorrow’s pirates

Back in the day pirates struck fear into the hearts of sea travelers across the globe. Black Beard, Long John Silver. These were scary men. But they must be turning in their unmarked deserted island graves now when they see what has become of their bloodthirsty terrifying tradition. I wonder how Black Bart would have reacted if someone had told him that by the 20th century dressing as pirates would be a favourite for 4 year old boys celebrating their birthdays. Rather than the wind blowing across the deck of the cake it is the blowing out of candles that happens now. Yo ho ho and another plastic cup of lemonade for little jimmy then out to the sandpit to dig for buried treasure.

300 hundred years ago it would have probably been considered in bad for a kid to have a pirate party. I wonder how little Johnny will celebrate turning 5 300 years from now? Nautical themes will always be popular, so maybe Japanese whaler birthday parties will be the big thing. Dad could turn the garage into the deck of a Japanese whaler and pour fake blood all over the floor and after a glass of non alcoholic sake the kids could play pin the harpoon on the humpback.