It seems the sacred Hindu ice penis only lasted two days much to the distress of the thousands of pilgrims who made the trek up the Himalayas to view the chilly willy.
BUT was global warming the sole reason for the melting member? Perhaps not. It seems that some of the pilgrims couldn’t resist the urge to lay their hands on the frozen phallus.
The erect icicle is gone now and all that is left is a pool of clear liquid. I’ve had the same experience myself.
We are going through that whole ‘remember to clean you teeth’ thing with our daughter at the moment and I’m playing my part. Backing up my wife with the round in circles up and down routine but what I really want to say is ‘Listen luv, flag the whole twice daily teeth cleaning thing. Your gonna lose them all anyway. They’re baby teeth, they’re temporary. Save yourself the time and hassle devote your time and energy to playing the Indian Stock Market and save your teeth cleaning efforts for the real fight when your proper teeth are ready.
And while we’re on the subject of teeth isn’t it time we re thought the tooth fairy thing?
As if parents aren’t being extorted for enough cash these days for the 55 million versions of Brat dolls or my favourite ponies, we have to stump up money for every tooth the little one loses.
How about we leave a credit note on the pillow. $2 off the $10,000 we are going to have to spend fork out to get your new teeth straightened. It’s only a matter of time before the kids realise that a solitary coin per tooth just aint gonna cut these days. They’ll start holding out for more and once one parent gives in all the rest of the kids in the class are going to start putting pressure on their parents.
I have plans to set up a service to help remove the growing financial threat of the tooth fairy. For a small fee you’ll be able to buy my kit. You wait till your kid has gone to bed the night they put out their first tooth and set it up. In the morning little Tommy is the first witness on the scene of a tragic accident. It will appear the tooth fairy in her eagerness to get away with her haul mistook the ultra clean glass for an open window. It wasn’t the crash that killed her. Or the fall to the bedroom floor. It was when she impaled herself on little Tommy's tooth.
Now in an effort to keep the costs down the model will not stand up to much scrutiny. I am betting on the fact that little Tommy will be so traumatized that he doesn’t want to go to close to the crash site. But just to be on the safe side parents are advised to dispose of the evidence quickly. Explain to your little one that in the unlikely event of an accident the Tooth Fairy had asked to be buried the same way as the goldfish, and head for the bathroom.
Like Santa there is only one tooth fairy. So the beauty of product is that only one parent in each class or neighborhood has to do the deed. Once Tommy spreads the word about the demise of the tooth fairy to his little mates none of them will expect to see her at their place.
Although we have had trouble with trying to create a fake blood that matches the viscosity of fairy blood, I expect to have ‘Fairy Fatality’ ready for launch in a few months.
Got a problem with your kids eating too much chocolate at Easter? I am also researching ideas for simple mishaps that could befall basket carrying bunnies.
According to the UK PM’s top terrorist advisor, the foiled car bomb plot shows that al Qaeda has imported the tactics of Iraq and Indonesia to Britain.
I understand the eagerness of the PM’s office to appear to be on the case and up to the minute on this event, but didn’t the IRA used to let off a load of car bombs back when Osama Bin Laden was still working out a logo and picking the furniture for al Qaeda’s head office?
Rather than rush to the press conference to start spouting out sound bites, the PM’s office should stop and think about what they’re saying. Another bigwig declared that this was international terrorism but it has the English homeland stamped all over it. The trigger in the Merc parked outside the nightclub failed to go off. Typical pommy workmanship. Bet the loser that built it wishes he had done the whole suicide thing, because he’ll be the most embarrassed terrorist in Britain at the moment.
