Saint Obama

The new shiny Nobel prize is sitting on his desk. Now, could his minders be positioning him for an even more celestial award?

MY NEW BOOK IS OUT NOW

If you only buy 83 books this year, make sure Printmen is one of them. If you liked my stickmen books as much as my mum did, you will love this. Unless you hate fingerprints made into little people say stupid stuff, in which case you will hate this book.

HERES WHAT THE EXPERTS ARE SAYING ABOUT THE BOOK THAT HAS THE WHOLE WORLD TALKING*

‘If the guys from Weta can work out how to animate this, I’ll make the movie.’
P Jackson

‘Get out of my hotel room or I’ll call the police!’ J K Rowlings

‘Jesus. They made a book out of that?’ the Pope

‘How did you get this number?’ Barack Obama

‘How did you get this number?’ Osama Bin Laden

‘I have no fingerprints. They were burned off in a fight on a planet of lava with Obi Wan Kenobi.‘ Darth Vader

*for the purposes of this post 'the whole world' is defined as my immediate family.

The Guantanamo Problem

Article I just wrote for those lovely people at Media Week Middle East

http://content.yudu.com/Library/A14ooq/MediaWeekMiddleEast1/resources/10.htm

Obama's running mate

Running mate. Sounds very olympian so what a good time to announce his choice. And smart move to go for the white old guy. Their theme song should be that paula abdul classic 'We come together because opposites attract.'
I gotta say, the guy looks the part.
personally I thought my idea to get the guy who invented survivor to create a show called 'Americas next vice president' and hosted by Donald Trump was the way to go. Maybe next time.

But I feel sorry for the other contenders who Obama was considering for the role who have gone home empty handed.

David Hasselhoff
Danny Devito
Tom Cruise's chef
Donald Trump's hair
The guy who liked the razoor so much he bought the company
Hulk Hogan
The incredible Hulk
Ben & Jerry
The keyboard player from Hootie and the blowfish
Gladys Knight
one of the pips
The hamburgler

All great candidates and Obama was at pains to explain to them all, individually, that it was a really close thing. He was especially careful when he spoke to the incredible hulk. You don't want to piss that guy off. No matter how many secret service agents you got watching your back.

In case things dont work out for Obama

Just a thought I wanted to get in before anyone else does. I think Obama will probably take out the election, unless the republicans have another voting machine trick up their sleeves.
BUT. If Obama misses out then the papers will need a headline to go with the day after the election. OR weeks after if it turns into a protracted legal battle.
I was thinking about this because I’m in London at the moment, home of the world’s best newspaper headlines. I’m talking magic like "Bananas in Pyjamas," that ran during the Michael Jackson trial.
Don’t know if there is any money in headline ideas for newspaper headlines but I humbly submit this little pearler.
O BUMMER 08