World’s Tallest Building Bollocks

They’re building the worlds biggest everything in the UAE so it is no surprise the world’s tallest building is going up in Dubai. Incidentally, a mate told me the project manager is a Kiwi. Cool eh. We’re everywhere.
This will be the first building in the world that has lifts you can use in a fire. Essential if the owners ever hoped to get the fire brigade to turn out for a fire.
I don’t know how fast the lifts will be, but perhaps they could put café’s in them so you could have a couple of flat whites and read the paper on the way up or down.
For residents, being in the world’s tallest building will change the way they live.
“Honey, I’m going to be late home tonight.”
“Where are you now?”
“The basement. I’m just getting into the lift. Kiss the kids goodnight for me.”
Sadly the world’s tallest building will probably attract suicide jumpers. But they could use the height to help save lives. Jumpers have to put on a parachute and are given a cell phones at the top. On the way down the jumper gets a call from the suicide hotline and they try to talk the person out of it. If they do change their mind there will still be time to pull the ripcord and float down.
The even bigger news is I am told they are planning an even BIGGER building in Kuwait. Twice as high as the Dubai one. 1 mile up. They should put airplane toilets on the top floor so that people who are afraid of flying have a chance to join the mile high club.