I’ve Bean thinking

Bean bags. What a brilliant invention. You don’t have to be a F1 driver to have a seat that fits the contours of your body. Just plonk your arse down (doesn’t matter what size) in a beanbags.
Bean bags. Inspired by the hacky sacks left behind by the giants that used to live in earth before us. I made a beanbag at school when I was 12. It was sewing class, which like cooking class was compulsory. First I made a pencil case. What could be easier? Two bits of material and a zip. Then I felt I was ready to move to the next level. A beanbag. 3 or 4 bits of material and a slightly longer zip. Of course the name beanbag can be a little miss leading. They are actually full of thousands and thousands and thousands of little polystyrene balls. But polystyrene Ball Bags just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Plus a bean bag looks a bit like a large nut sack and if it was called a something ball bag that would reinforce that image and probably put off a large number of buyers.
Ever unzip the beanbag and plunge your hand deep inside its recesses. You had to do it when mum wasn’t around casue if she saw you she would go off her head about the balls that would spill out and get on the floor. Remember that program All Creatures Great and Small about the English vet? It was [pretty crap but back then there were only two channels to watch anyway. But the from that show that stuck with me was when James Harriet the vet had to stick his hand up the cows arse right to his elbow. I reckon when he did that he would have been trying to pretend his arm was in a beanbag. Probably a nice tweed one.
One night at my friend Grant’s house when we were about 17 I was in his bathroom and noticed the bath was full of polystyrene balls. They had a flash red leather beanbag but Grants mum had sent it away to repairs. If you ever get the chance can I recommend you try getting into a bath full of polystyrene balls in your undies…….
So I was reminiscing about beanbags the other night with my friend Jeremy. He’s a base player so you have to understand that you can’t stretch the conversation to far. But the J mesiter had a cracker of an idea. Bean bags for the third world. Think about it. Whenever you see footage of starving people in refugee camps they are always standing around. They need somewhere to sit and if you gave them chairs they would probably pull them apart make a trolley, load up the family and piss off. They need bean bags. Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘A base player came up with this idea?’ I swear its true. And it gets better. Jeremy’s brain wave was to fill the beanbags with real beans so that when they get hungry. Which would probably be all the time. They can unzip the bag and whip out some beans and cook up a feed. This is how we are going to save the world people. Smart thinking for the rhythm section and shit loads of beanbags. We could even go one step further. Get Heniz involved and make Baked Beanbags. You would want to take the beans out of the can first though, cause if you put the cans in the beanbag it would be bloody uncomfortable and starving or not no one is going to be compfy in a lumpy beanbag.