Nature can be a real mother

Can you imagine what a turtle would look like without a shell? A big fat lizard that has been dealt to with a rolling pin. And it’s true because there is one and that’s exactly what it looks like. It’s called the Asian Giant Soft Shelled Turtle. Soft shell isn’t really accurate. It should be called ‘no shell’ but the people that named it were obviously being kind.
So this ‘no shell’ turtle spends 95% of it’s life buried in the mud with only its eyes poking out of the ground. And fair enough wouldn’t you. Imagine sitting there buried in mud and a normal turtle packing a big fancy shell comes waddling past.
“What ya doing down there?’
‘Nothing. Just sitting in the mud... looking at stuff.’
‘Well come on down to the river. We’re all hanging out.’
So soft shell builds up the courage to pull himself out of the mud and all the shell boys get a look at the freak and start laughing. And that’s it. Back into your mud hole you go. Apparently the Asian Giant soft shelled turtle is nearly extinct. I’m not surprised. A lot of them are probably killing themselves. The ones that aren’t probably have heart disease on account of the fact they spend 95% of their life sitting in the mud doing nothing. Maybe the soft shelled turtle has always been lazy even back when he had a shell. Maybe he sat in the mud for thousands of years, with a shell and nature decided ‘Hey, if your gonna sit on your arse in the mud I’m gonna take away your shell.’