WHERE’S THE POINT IN THE PYRAMIDS?

From the moment you get to Cairo they bang on about these pyramids that you just have to go and see. I’m here doing some work so I thought I might as well check them out. They are right next to the city, which is a smart move on the Egyptians part. Not like Disneyland in LA, which takes ages to get to. My taxi driver obviously had trouble understanding my English. I asked him to take me to the pyramids what he heard me say was “Can you take me to the pyramids but first stop at a Papyrus Museum so I can buy some shitty paper and you can get a nice kick back.
It was the first museum I have ever been to where you can by everything that’s on the wall. I’ve seen papyrus before. In the 70’s people in Pakuranga liked to put it in their garden. And I have seen papyrus paper. You find it at those hippy shops that sell incense, pocket sized horoscope books and sandals made of Ethiopian cowhide. But I didn’t tell the nice lady. I didn’t really get a chance, she didn’t stop talking. She condensed the making of papyrus paper from 5 or 6 days into an efficient 14 minutes with the use of some classic,’ Here is some I prepared earlier.’ TV kitchen show moves. Very Hudson & Halls. She showed me how papyrus is shaped like a triangle, like the pyramids. Nice link. I also noticed It is green the color of the American money which she was very keen for me to spend on her papyrus drawings. Another spooky link. Consumers are looking for an interactive, personal shopping experience these days. Nike offer to print your name on their shoes. The lady at the Papyrus museum has embraced this concept. She has a little helper with gold and black felt tips and will write your name in hieroglyphics on the papyrus painting of your choice. I paid a little extra and got her to write the name of a good friend. She had never heard of someone called ‘I paid way to much for this naff picture of an eye’. With my wallet a few bucks lighter it was finally off to the pyramids. My Taxi driver was obviously very proud of the Cairo’s number 1 tourist attraction. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they have one in Las Vegas that looks a lot better. Sure Cairo has a few of them in different sizes, but they all look a bit rough. Made with blocks of stone, they look like they have been put up in a bit of a hurry. So fast in fact that the council couldn’t agree what to put in them. The one in Vegas has a hotel and casino in it. The ones at Giza have nothing! Not even a café selling expensive scones and cold drinks. But maybe that’s so you have to buy water and coke from the men that wander around outside. Another cause for concern was the fact that they don’t appear to have even finished these pyramids. They didn’t have proper points on them. Maybe they ran out of money? Or perhaps they are saving up to put a big eye on it like the pyramid on American money, which is where I suspect they got the idea from. Good on Cairo for taking the initiative and building a tourist attraction. Even if it has been done before. Sure they look a bit rough now but I think Cairo has big plans for the future. They have made sure there is plenty of desert behind them, so if the place turns out to be popular with the tourists there will be no problem adding more pyramids. Maybe one with a casino and an inflatable one for kids.