My Italian design disaster.

Some clever Italian design guy realized that the shape of Italy would make a very handy bottle opener. Brilliant! But you would expect a cool design idea like that, from a country that prides itself on great design. What was even better about this was it also doubled as a fridge magnet. Now the fridge is where my beer lives and the opener is for the beer so having the two living as neighbors is brilliant. It saves me the walk across the kitchen to the draw with the unmagnetised bottle openers.
Just one problem. The hole that you put over the bottle cap is slightly too small. So rather than whipping the top off in one quick often practiced manner it take three or four attempts to loosen the little sucker.
How hard is it to make a bottle opener that works? Bottle caps aren’t like railway tracks or power points. They don’t have different gauges and types around the world. I know. I have opened beer across this lovely planets and I have never seen a bottle top come in anything other than the standard international agreed bottle top size. That’s why they sell so many souvenir bottle openers in airports. Because the souvenir people know it is a gift that can be used anywhere. Am I to believe that the Italian bottle opener fridge magnet design team didn’t bother to test their creation? What about the launch party? Didn’t anyone think to serve beer? Was it just wine? My grandad told me the Italians had lots of experience drinking beer. Every time they changed sides in the war they celebrated by opening a few bottles.
How can a bottle opener designer hope to have any credibility if he doesn’t open a fricken bottle of beer at least once. It would be like a group of Jehovah Witnesses starting up a business making Birthday cards.
I have been devastated by the performance of my Italian opener. Quite frankly it has left a bad taste in my mouth, although that could be the case of Sri Lankan beer I have had to work my way through this week. I don’t really rate Sri Lankan beer, but their country would make a nice ergonomically shaped bottle opener. Italy’s fuck up could be Sri Lanka’s gain.