You’d be a dope to be a professional cyclist

Shock horror! Another cyclist on the Tour de France has failed a dope test. Well pass the puncture repair kit Pierre. Why don’t the bosses behind men’s cycling just dispense with the pretence and embrace the fact that all their boys are chocka block full of roids.
Why fight it? If the competitors are so eager to use them, make it mandatory. They should still have dope tests, but if there are no traces of steroids found in the cyclists blood or wee wee, that’s when they fail!
It is a tough sport to be a part of. Grown men have to shave their legs to compete. Do you have any idea how much they get hassled by other professional sportsmen? Is it any wonder they try to ease the pain with huge horse sized hypodermics full of pedal power.
Cycling could do with the edge. It’s a boring sport. The only good bit is when you see those massive pile-ups. I think it would be hilarious to see roid raging riders with thighs as thick as 8 year olds pedaling round the Europe.
I imagine if the doctors were allowed to dope at full dose? A professional cyclist could end up looking like the Incredible Hulk. Come to think of it, the Hulks pants look like cycle shorts. Maybe he used to be on the tour.