Me & George Bush in Rome

Arrived in Rome and noticed large numbers of police on the streets. Even the cops dress stylishly in Italy. Lots of them had these little purple cravat things round their necks so they kind of looked like security guards at the Playboy mansion. I thought maybe the heavy uniformed presence was a regular thing like Cairo, but no. Turns out George W Bush had chosen to celebrate the end of the G8 with a visit Rome the same day I did. I wondered if all the police on the streets meant the Italians wanted to arrest Bush to question him for his war crimes in Iraq or abuse of human rights in Qantanamo bay. But it turns out they were there to ensure he got through town quickly and efficiently. The Romans brought road to the world but you know how hairdressers often have bad haircuts and mechanics cars are always in need of repair. Well Rome’s roads are a shocker. I could see why the most powerful man in the world (after the inventor of the pushup bra) would need help getting out. After waiting 45 minutes while plain clothed cops on scooters raced up and down the road beeping their horns and me explaining to my daughter that we couldn’t cross the road because the leader of the free world was on the way, the Bush traveling circus raced up the street. 6 motorbikes, 4 or 5 local cop cars then three big fuck off black America limos with blacked out windows. The front one had its windows down and sitting there with the butt of his machine gun sticking up was a grumpy looking secret service agent. I suspect he had probably just paid the entrance fee to visit the Coliseum. That was followed by half a dozen more Italian cops cars, a couple of motorbikes and what looked appeared to be 4 Japanese tourists in a little blue Fiat who had taken a wrong turn. Although they could have been part of the Secret Service’s last line of defense ninja squad, because none of them were taking photos. Everywhere George goes he must see hundreds of people lined up on the street waiting. I wonder if he thinks they are all there to see him or if someone has told him it is because the cops wont let anyone cross the street. Soon he wont be president anymore. I think it will be very hard to adjust to life as a commoner after 8 years of never having to stop at traffic lights. Maybe they will let him keep the grumpy guy with the machine gun to help adjust to normal life. Actually with all friends he’s made round the world he’ll probably need a dozen guys with machine guns around him permanently. Sucked in.