The Crap Pack

It has all turned to custard for Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Or the Crap Pack as I like to call them.
Lindsay has been in more rehab centers than watchable films in her short life. And now it looks like Britney might be joining her to get weaned of the jack and coke, and coke. Apparently Britney Spears mother Lynne received an anonymous phone call last week, tipping her off about the singer's drug taking.
Oh really? Are you telling me Lynne didn’t know? Don’t they get TV reception in her trailer park? Doesn’t she read magazines?
Paris did jail time instead of rehab but now she has announced she is off to Rwanda. Has someone told Pars there are no Prada, Gucci or Mui Mui stores in Rwanda? Maybe she isn’t going there for a handbag. Maybe she is gonna pull a Madonna and adopt a 3rd world kid to replace her tiny dog. Or maybe they will both have to squeeze into the same handbag. If she is only going there for a photo op couldn’t she just get someone to build a fake Rwanda set in Hollywood. If some of Paris’ emaciated pals spent a few extra hours on the tanning beds they would look just like the starving children in Rwanda. As if poor old Rwanda doesn’t enough problems now they will have to put up with the Platinum princess wafting through the country handing out copies of her porn tape. But maybe this could be the thing that brings the Hutu and the Tutsi together. (Has someone told Paris that these are tribes and not new types of perfume?) Maybe they can stop killing each other and learn to hate a common enemy. Bimbo American socialites who use dirt poor African nations to make themselves look good.