The Turks have lifted the ban on headscarf’s for university students. Someone in the government obviously watches the Style channel and knows that the headscarf is one of the must have fashion accessories at the moment. Smart move from the country that bought the world Turkish delight and gave Australia and New Zealand a public holiday.
These new stickers appeared in the lifts in my apartment building this week . They have the word Meld at the top. Naturally your thoughts immediately line danced to the Vulcan Mind Meld and Spock. But the words underneath quickly point you in another direction. Straight down.
Meld is the Mitsubishi Emergency Lift landing device.
I think maybe the sign is meant to reassure people the in the unlikely event of a malfunction the lift will land safely. But it had the oppisite effect on me.
I understand air bags. Cars have prangs and in that situation, an airbag is better than no air bag. But lifts aren’t supposed to plunge to the ground floor are they? Except in the movies?
Why the need to install emergency landing devices in lifts in a building that is one year old? And why wait one year?
What exactly is, an emergency landing device in a lift? Will oxygen masks drop from the ceiling? Even if the lifts craps out on the top floor I don’t think I could get a mask on and then my child’s before it hits the bottom.
Maybe the emergency landing device is just a really big spring. That would work wouldn’t it?
But then you could have a sign saying 'This lift is fitted with an Emergency Lift Landing Spring.' But you would probably use the word device because it sound more high tech. Thing is, you just don’t hear about lifts failing and crashing do you? So why the sudden need to comfort people? Is it a sign of things to come? Is the pressure to keep construction costs down resulting in cheaper more dangerous lifts? Has some bean counter worked out it is more cost effective to install a crappy lift with a safety landing device, than a proper lift that doesn’t need one? Maybe start seeing signs in the foyers of buildings that’s read ‘RELAX. WE’VE HAD __ DAYS WITHOUT AN ELEVATOR FATALITY
They say the modern fridge has more computing power than Apollo 11 did when it took man to the moon.
That got me thinking. Why does the search for other life forms have to be so serious? Why do we have to send out probes with mathematical codes and diagrams of a man and a woman etched into gold plates? Why can’t we have a bit of fun? Why not make a good first impression with good old-fashioned humor.
So here’s the plan. We know a fridge has the computer power to get into space, so lets send one. Or even better, lets sends thousands.
Lets fill with a selection of yummiest food items that require refrigeration, and then launch then into the space in different directions.
Imagine the delight when one of our fridges lands on a planet with intelligent life?
After all the boring high tech probes they would have received over the years a box full of chilly snack would be a real hit. They wont know what.
Nothing says ‘We come in peace’ like a fridge full of food. A gastronomic gidday from man.
There would have to be a bit of planning. We’d have to watch the expiry dates on the stuff we load. Could be a long trip. And a selection of low fat items would be advisable. Think about it. You never see chubby aliens. Those grays with the big eyes look like they watch their weight.
