Things are blowing up in Iran

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been in the news talking about explosions again. But this time he wants a population explosion.
This week, the president who's name is used in tongue twister drinking games around the world (not Iran) has told his people to get out and make the earth move, or get into bed and make the earth move. Whatever floats your boat. Cant help but feel this is sending mixed messages to the good people of Iran but I bet they like the second message better.
Iran have a two child policy which I think works a little better than the 2.5 kids model. It's the half a kid I always worry about. Not only because they would get picked on in school but also the extra strain on the medical services with all these mutant half children walking about. Or dragging themselves along the footpath with their hands if they are only a top half. A family with two parents and kids is called a nuclear family. I'm glad President Ahmadinejad didn't go on about nuclear families in his statement, that would just be a red rag to Israel and United State's bull wouldn't it.

Samir Kuntar

Samir Kuntar, the Lebanese freedom fighter/terroist (depending on your point of view) who was jailed for 542 years at the age of16 has been freed by the Israelis. He went in in 79.
ABBA were still huge back then.
With the new Mamma Mia film in the headlines now as Samir comes out, I wonder if he thinks that ABBA is still huge and have been all this time. I think someone needs to explain to him that ABBA were hated during the 80’s and most of the 90’s. It would be embarrassing for us if he thinks we have been obsessed with them all this time.

It isn’t Iran that has wiped Israel off the face of the earth. It’s Ikea

Maybe the pen really is mightier than the sword.
Check out this is giant map of the world I found on sale at Ikea in Abu Dhabi.
Now take a close look at the in-house modifications they’ve made. With a flick of the wrist, Israel has been removed.

Global Warming Saves Lives.

Ok, so the hailstorms in Lebanon might not be a result of global warming. They have a hailstorm season every year. But how big does a piece of hail have to be to set off a bomblet? The answer to that question is as big as a walnut.

You know bomblets, they are the little bombs that come out of a cluster bomb and pepper an area the size of one or two football fields. The Cluster Munition Coalition (CMC) is campaigning for an international treaty banning cluster munitions.
But in the meantime the US and people she supplies munitions to like Israel are dropping them as fast as they can.
Last year in Israel’s war on the Hezbollah, hundreds of cluster bombs were dropped. Trouble is, a lot of the bomblets fail to explode and can remain dangerous for decades after the end of a conflict. The brightly coloured canisters attract children who often die or lose limbs when they pick the things up.
That’s why it was a nice change to se Mother Nature helping us out with some walnut sized hail this week that set off a series of explosions. Now if we could direct the XXL hail to danger spots around the globe we would have an eco friendly way of cleaning up the mess America is making in the Middle East.

Gaza Strip business opportunity

As I fancy myself as a bit of an entrepreneur I am always on the look out for new ways to get filthy rich and watching young Palestinians throwing rocks at Israeli soldiers on TV for the millionth time the other night gave me an idea. Business is all about supply and demand and it seems to me that in the Gaza strip it must be getting really hard to find hand sized rocks because they have all been thrown at the Israeli soldiers by Palestinian youths. But just across the border the Israelis have the opposite problem. So here is my cunning plan. I am going to go to the Israeli Army and offer to clear up all the rocks that are littering their positions and generally making things look messy and then I am going to truck them over to Gaza and sell them back to the Palestinians who will pay good money for throw able rocks. I know what you’re thinking they are used rocks the Palestinians would pay more for new rocks. But I will market them as ‘Pre tested’ thus being able to charge a premium for them. Maybe I will put little pictures on them and make them collectable thus increasing there value even more. The Israeli army could set up a scheme where if a soldier gets hit with the same rock more than once he wins a prize like a drink holder for his jeep or a little glow in the dark star of David. Take a fresh look at the conflicts happening around the world folks. There are plenty to choose from and if you don’t make money out of them, an oil company or an arms dealer will. So get in there.

Americas aerial landscaping of Iran. Put September in your diary.

The War President has told the American people that they can expect to know if the surge is working around September. The evidence will come out that the surge has not worked not matter how much spin Bush tries to put on it. So what happens then? Bush isn’t going to admit defeat. He has publicly stated that the US won’t leave Iraq while he’s in charge. Lack of public support for the war and his Titanicesque ratings haven’t put him off. He is in this to the end. What he needs is a distraction and a chance to refocus the public’s attention on the worldwide war on terror. So I am predicting that around September is when Iran is going to get a visit from some heavy-duty made in the USA airborne ordinance. I’ve bogged about this before so I’ll try not to repeat myself. On paper it might seem crazy to provoke a new fight, the American military is overstretched as it is. But this wont be an invasion. This will be a powerful concentrated attack on Iran’s nuclear capabilities. Think about it. Neither the Saudi’s nor the Israelis want to see Iran gain nuclear capabilities. Sure Saudi Arabia and other Arab nations will denounce the attack but behind closed doors they want it to happen. There is no way Israel will ever let Iran get the bomb but the yanks know Israel cant attack Iran because that would force the other Arab countries to side with Iran and possibly trigger a bigger middle east conflict. No. The yanks will do it because everyone wants it. And when Iran responds that will be the perfect ammunition for the Republicans to use in their assault on the 2008 presidential race.