Having a blast in the Leb

Been thinking about guns a bit lately. This week, Mikhail Kalashnikov the inventor of the AK47 turned 90. If I had a choice between being the guy who invented the AK47 and the guy who invented Velcro, I would pick the AK47. I hope someone made him a cake shaped like an AK47 with 90 little candles that look like bullets. Actually, I bet he got that when he turned 47. That would have been funnier. Speaking of guns, I had a shooting weekend in Lebanon. Brilliant fun. Car loads of unshaven men roaring into the Beqaa valley with trunks full of guns. The humble Matwa was the target. Bigger than a sparrow, smaller than a pigeon. Fast little buggers and they have a habit of flying low. Hundreds of men standing in fields, blasting away. What could possibly go wrong? A few things as it happened. The count at the end of the weekend was 1 dead and 9 injured. And I’m not talking about the Matwa. As a result the Lebanese government has banned the sport. It was already illegal but none of the soldiers or police at the numerous checkpoints on the way into the valley seemed to care that we were all off for a few hours of bang bang. It will be a different story from now on they reckon so I’m glad I got in there last weekend.

New releases by Bin Laden and Britney.

The titan of terrorism and the princess of pop are back and it has been a while. After wisely waiting till after Elvis Presley’s 30th anniversary these two big names are making a quest to hit the headlines again.

While Britney’s time off from the music industry has been documented every sticky step of the way, Binny has opted for a more quiet approach spending time at his luxury cave complex in the mountainous Pakistan Afghan border region. No messy divorces for Mr Laden the biggest controversy of the last few years was to become the face in an advertising campaign for a range of all terrain dialysis machines. A move that some of his fans labeled as a sell out. But with that behind him he his back, like Miss Spears, to doing what they do best.

You have to change and evolve to keep the audience interested these days and like Britney, Bin laden’s stylists have gone for a new look. The coloured and shorter beard makes him look younger. Rumour has it that Britney’s team was also considering a beard till they found out Bin laden had beat them to it.
Britney will kick off her come back with a performance at the MTV awards. Bin Laden was lined up to present ‘Best Video filmed in a cave, but opted instead to be guest speaker at the launch of the 2007 model AK47.

There is one big difference between Britney and Binny of course and that is the length of their respective releases. Britney’s ‘Gimme More’ comes in at the standard 3 to 4 minutes while Bin Laden has gone for an epic 30 minutes. Time will tell whether this was a wise move when success depends on the buy in from those short attention spanned Gen Xers.
In the end the audience will decide whether Britney and Bin reclaim their status at the top of the popular people pile or slip down into the slope into Hasbeenville. Hopefully not matter how fierce the professional rivalry between them they can still take time out to visit each other’s tour buses, share a Mojito and non-alcoholic pina colada and talk about what a loser that Kevin Federline is.