Rugby World Cup dribble

Just watched a Titanic struggle between the All Blacks and Romania. When I say Titanic what I mean is, like the film, everyone already knew the ending before it started.
You’re familiar with Beatle mania in the 60’s? Well along time before that there was Romania. People all over Europe were so hot for anything and everything Roman that they decided to name a country after it.

Romania filled the spot in the 2007 World Cup line up reserved for countries whose name ends in ‘ia’. Personally I would have like to see Transylvania get in. At halftime the whole team would pile off into the blood bin. For a drink…. Get it…. A drink……
Oh never mind.

If you’re not from New Zealand you probably cant grasp just how important the rugby world cup, and us winning it, is to little old New Zealand. Being a small island at the bottom of the planet we get very excited about anything that gets us attention from the big grown up country’s of the world. Rotary milking, man’s first flight, splitting of the atom, Rachel Hunter and big expensive racing yachts. We’ve tried a lot of different things. But the one that seems to work most consistently for us, is rugby.

The make up of the AB’s has changed over the years. Back in the day there were a lot of farmers in the team. These days there are a lot more city boys. But, just like the Sth African rugby union insists there are a number of black players in the national team, the All Blacks have to have at least one farmer in every starting 15. It’s a law. And at least 2 guitar players per touring squad.

There’s no doubt the All Blacks are getting bigger. The victorious 87 World Champs would look like ball boys along side the 2007 team. If they keep growing at this rate the All Blacks wont be able to fly in normal aircraft seats in 20 years time. New Zealand scientists are busy designing a special plane to carry the national squad. It is either that or they go on a cruise ship.

It’s all about the money these days in rugby. Big money. Sure a top All Black earns a year, what David Beckham earns in a week, but it is still big money down in New Zealand. Players will be looking for ways to make extra advertising bucks on the field and maybe some of them have already started. Take Jerry Collins. With his bright white flat top and black everything else, he looks like a pint of Guinness with legs. Smart move by the makers of Guinness. ‘Good things take time. Except a move by Jerry Collins.’

So the pool games are nearly over. Surprisingly, Georgia, Namibia and Timbucktoo didn’t deliver the performances their pre tournament form suggested……. But now we get to the sharp end of the competition ( I think I stole that line from Simon Fuller on American Idol). Maybe the AB’s will finally get a decent game and maybe they can hold it together and bring home the little silver cup. Or will we live up to our reputation as the best rugby team in the world. In between world cups. There’s a lot riding on this for us and if it doesn’t come off we might have to give Rachel Hunter a make over and marry her off to another ageing rocker.

Hairs to the rugby world cup

Has the IRB made a rule that every team in the 2007 World Cup has to have a man with a beard in it? Maybe it is a cynical move to capture the hard to reach lumberjack audience.
For a back a beard cant be good for wind resistance can it? And for a forward, surely it is just something for the opposition to grab onto. Ban the stupid beard I say. The Samoans got round the beard rule by giving some of their players’ hair bling’. Little beads and tassels. Apparently a team can field two players with hair bling instead of one player with a beard.

England Part 2

Poor old England. As if being hit by foot and mouth wasn’t bad enough they now have to contend with Blue Tongue. At least it is easy for the farmers to look for the symptoms. Foot and mouth was a bit unspecific because if your animals don’t have feet and mouths you’re in big trouble anyway. Maybe they should think about closing down England and turning it into a car park for Euro Disney? Just a thought. England’s National animal seems to be a lion. It is on a lot of stuff. I don’t remember a time that they ran wild. Maybe they did. Maybe they still do in the backwoods. Hope the blue tongue doesn’t kill em off. Or. Maybe England just stole the animal of another country. Like they lifted tea as their national drink and curry as their national dish from India.

Brain Dribble on England Part 1

England is a small island off the coast of Europe. Originally when god put it here the plan was that it would be a get away place for European people to come and hang out on. The Vikings used it for a while but didn’t treat the place too well and because the weather is crap it never really took off. Perhaps because of the weather English people have made such an effort to go out and conquer the rest of the world. At one point the British Empire had it’s creepy little tentacles all over the planet. They bought gifts too. And not just the STD’s their sailors were carrying. They bought new kinds of warfare, muskets, cannons, food and games. Games like rugby, football and cricket. The people in the country’s that England conquered learned the rules of the games then kicked the Poms out without so much as a 'cheerio old chap'. Except India who gave them some curry. But then aqs if that wasnt bad enough all the conquered countrys then proceeded to get really good at the sports the English left behind so they could kick their arses over and over again.
England has a Queen, but they used to have 2 till the lead singer of one died of AIDS. The best thing about England is that there is a pub on every corner. There has to be because the weather is so crap people cant walk too far. The other best thing about England is the traffic light system. When the light is red it flashes orange to let you know it is about to go green. This lets you save valuable mili seconds. All those milli seconds add up to minutes and those minutes can be spent waiting at the bar for your Guinness to be ready to drink. My Guiness is ready now so i have to go and drink it but i will be back later with more thoughts on England