What the deep fried banana said to the pineapple.

So me - a Kiwi slash Aussie is at a South American Restaurant in Abu Dhabi with some poms and a French chick and a Scottish bloke.
How fercken international is that? .. but that’s not what this dribble is about.
I wanna talk about fruit. Talking fruit. Well not actually talking. For the fruit to talk there would really have needed to be a vegetable in the mix… I’m thinking mushrooms. Small harmless looking ones boiled in a bit of water…
But I digress. Where was I?
Oh, that’s right talking fruit. Or, more accurately. What the fruit would have said if it could talk. Because we all know fruit can’t talk. Although, if there is anywhere in the world where they could afford to hire the scientists and linguists to devote the time and study to get fruit to talk, it’s here in Abu Dhabi. Richest city in the world don’t ya know. That’s why I’m here by the way. Whoring myself as an advertising slapper.
But I digress. Again. Sorry
So. We’re at this South American BarBQ restaurant where they bring you all this meat on big blades and if you want some they slice it off. Now it’s not only meat. There’s a salad bar and they bring you little bowls with your dose of carbs. Deep-fried polenta, hash browns… by the way, that’s weird eh. I always thought of hash browns as a breakfast food.
But it gets weirder. Also lurking in the bowl are these sections of banana. Deep-fried with a breadcrumb coating. Banana? With meat? What the hell?
I know. I was thinking that too. But it works.
So I got thinking about the concept of fruit with your main. The idea of promoting the food group from the back of the menu just before the special coffee. That’s when a guy turned up with a grilled pineapple on his giant blade and I realized that pineapple is a fruit that has always partied in the main section. Albeit as a partner to ham. So there you go, banana wasn’t the first, and that was comforting for the banana I thought, because you can imagine it out in the kitchen, lying there amongst the meat and veg. It’s a bit nervous, worrying about how it will be accepted by the punters. After all, it has only really ever featured in tandem with ice cream and cherries or on a platter with some of its relations and suddenly here it is. Going out with the first wave. Nice then that the pineapple is there to give some helpful words of encouragement. I imagine it would say something like, 'Don’t worry mate. They ‘re going to love you. I’ve been doing this since the 70’s. Cherries come with me sometimes, but to be honest I do most of the work. You’ll do fine kid. Just be the best banana you can be.’
What the pineapple is actually thinking is ‘Look at you with your breadcrumb covering for added appeal. I go out au natural. Just me. No dressing up. You’ve got props.’ But the pineapple wouldn’t say that. Not to the banana because he can see the little guy is shitting himself.