Thursday, June 3, 2010

The poor mans embassy

I went for my interview at the Australian embassy here in Abu Dhabi to get my new passport. Offered to sing Waltzing Matilda to prove my ozziness but it wasn't required. New Zealand doesn't have an embassy in Abu Dhabi. They have a consulate in Dubai. Got me thinking. Why a consulate not an embassy? Is that the equivilent of house versus hotel in monopoly? Poorer countries cant afford to have embassies everywhere like the big boys so they go for the smaller cheaper consulate option. I wonder if sometime a country asks the host nation if they can call their consulate an embassy so it seems a bit more important? There is probably an international regulatory body who inspect consulates the way they inspect hotels to decide how many stars they deserve. New Zealand has lots of consulates and a few embassies. Maybe it works the other way round too. What if someone like America told a small unimportant nation 'we have decided to open a consulate in your country' That's a super power's way of saying 'you aint all that'. I bet America doesnt open consulates in countries that have lots of oil. Abundant oil resources would guarrantee you an embassy i reckon. Wasnt all that impress by the Australian embassy. Thought it should have been decorated like one of those Walkabout Pubs, and the security guard should have had a hat with corks dangling off it, but he didn't. Not even a stuff Kangaroo in reception and a choice of tea coffee or Four x. Just a few of the suggestions i jotted down on the back of my passport application for the ambassador to read. I expect they will get back to me soon about my ideas. Cheers mate.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ozzie ozzie ozzie ? ? ?

Got an interview at the Australian embassy tomorrow for my new passport. My wife is a kiwi. She just sends her old one off with some new photos and that's it. For Australians you have to go in and have a 'interview'. I'm not sure what to expect but I'm taking no chances. I've been swatting up all day. I know the winners of the Grand Final for the last 20 years. Every Midnight Oil Album title and the lyrics to 'Beds are burning'. I also know four jokes that involve kiwis and sheep shagging and I can drink a can of Fosters in under 53 seconds. I'm quietly confident.