Evil Mo

This is from a new book of stupid drawings I am working on to follow up the highly crafted stickmen series

GpS love

I am spending time with another woman. But only in the car and my wife knows. In fact, the three of us hang out together sometimes. She ‘s a bit older than us. In her 40’s. But this is a lady who knows where she’s going.

‘In One point five kilometers turn left’
‘In One kilometer turn left’
‘In two hundred meters turn left’
‘Turn left.’

And if I don’t turn left? If I just keep going. Do I hear…..
‘I said LEFT you DICK HEAD. Why don’t you listen to me’

No I don’t.
Instead, there is a short pause and then, in a calm, relaxing voice, she says one word …..

‘Recalculating’.

It’s a great way to live. It’s changed my life. I am secretly hoping my wife picks up on the idea round the house.

‘Honey put out the rubbish in the next hour ’
‘Honey put out the rubbish in the next half hour ’
‘Honey put out the rubbish in the next fifteen minutes’
‘Honey put out the rubbish.’

`Recalculating………Honey put out the rubbish in the next two days.’


Maybe when she is fully used to life with GpS, I can use the style when I am at the pub and have to text her.

‘Hi babe, at the pub home in one hour
‘Hi babe, at the pub home in half an hour
‘Hi babe, at the pub home in fifteen minutes
Recalculating…….
‘Hi babe, at the pub home in one hour

I love my GpS and I am committed to it, but I couldn’t help noticing when I went of ride in a friends BMW X5 the other day that his GpS lady sounds younger and sexier than mine. I think it might be my GpS ladies hotter younger sister.
I bought mine off the shelf, his came installed. Maybe that’s why. It did get me thinking about the fact that there might be something better out there. I’m not saying I am going to cheat on my GpS, but the fact is, men are shallow like that and the GpS makers know it.

Burning Obama

In certain parts of the world they love burning effigies. India is one place in particular and Pakistan. When you consider those countries mutual love of cricket and effigy burning, you wonder why they don’t get on better.
As Obama looms as a likely contender for the next president, I wonder if the professional effigy burners have started practicing creating his likeness. A little too early you think? Well no. Effigy burners take their craft very seriously. They are probably working on a John Mc Cain and an Obama. Different coloured paper of course and McCain’s chubby cheeks mean they will use a bit more on his head, but these are the things that serious effigy builders have to think about.
There must have been a sigh of relief when Hillary dropped out of the race. The suits that they put on the Obama or McCain effigies will be the left over George W ones, but if Hillary had taken over as boss of the world super power, then the poor old effigy designers would have had to go out and invest in a whole lot of ladies suit pants. And that would have been costly.
Speaking of Pakistan, I see the lawyers have been protesting again.
Think about street protests. You are normally lookin at hundreds of feral hippie types with long hair, Mohawks and pierced noses. The two oddest street protests I’ve ever seen are the suited up lawyers in Pakistan and the Buddhist monks in Myanmar. Rioting monks? It just doesn’t make sense, but at least those robes would allow you to throw your rocks and shake your fists. I don’t know if a suit is the right thing to wear to a protest, but I’ll tell you who’s cleaning up, literally. Pakistani dry cleaners. Because no lawyer, even a protesting Pakistani one, is going to turn up to court in a smelly suit.