Pity poor Paris

We’ve seen Paris Hilton in her bikini, in Las Vegas, in crappy films, in a porno and now we might see her in jail. She’s been in thousands of bars now she is going to be behind bars. For driving her blue Bentley while disqualified. In the real world when you are fighting a prison sentence you hire a lawyer. In America you hire a publicist. But prison wouldn't be the end of the world for Paris. It can do wonders for your career. Just ask Martha Stewart. Everyone thought Johnny Cash did jail time and it just made him cooler. Maybe jail time will have an effect on the tone of her music (that could only be a good thing). Perhaps her lawyer could ask for a reduced sentence if she promises to take her album off the market and not to make music every again. Unless it is the soundtrack for another porno. Maybe she will come out with a new perfume – Freedom or Innocence. Paris’ mate Nicole Ritchie should get arrested (that wouldn’t be too hard) then they could make a new series of the Simple Life. The Hilton in Paris could theme some rooms like her jail cell and call it the Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton experience. When she gets out she can release a range of high fashion prison jumpsuits.
The judge says it was arrogance on Paris’ part. That she considered herself above the law of the common people. But she is. That’s why someone has started a petition to keep her out of jail, ‘Because she provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.’ The petition just might work. In America money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy innocence. Just ask OJ and Michael Jackson.