Brain Dribble on England Part 1

England is a small island off the coast of Europe. Originally when god put it here the plan was that it would be a get away place for European people to come and hang out on. The Vikings used it for a while but didn’t treat the place too well and because the weather is crap it never really took off. Perhaps because of the weather English people have made such an effort to go out and conquer the rest of the world. At one point the British Empire had it’s creepy little tentacles all over the planet. They bought gifts too. And not just the STD’s their sailors were carrying. They bought new kinds of warfare, muskets, cannons, food and games. Games like rugby, football and cricket. The people in the country’s that England conquered learned the rules of the games then kicked the Poms out without so much as a 'cheerio old chap'. Except India who gave them some curry. But then aqs if that wasnt bad enough all the conquered countrys then proceeded to get really good at the sports the English left behind so they could kick their arses over and over again.
England has a Queen, but they used to have 2 till the lead singer of one died of AIDS. The best thing about England is that there is a pub on every corner. There has to be because the weather is so crap people cant walk too far. The other best thing about England is the traffic light system. When the light is red it flashes orange to let you know it is about to go green. This lets you save valuable mili seconds. All those milli seconds add up to minutes and those minutes can be spent waiting at the bar for your Guinness to be ready to drink. My Guiness is ready now so i have to go and drink it but i will be back later with more thoughts on England