Naivety. The birth of christ.

M – You took your time. Lets get up to the room I’m knackered.

J – Well, there’s a bit of a problem.

M – Problem? What do you mean problem? It’s late, and my bum is sore. This saddle you made is rubbish. What do you mean problem?

J – The Inn is full.

M – Full! Really. Well I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact there is a fricken census on and everyone has returned home to this poxy little town. ‘Book a room’ I said. ‘The place will be full’ I said. But Oh no not you. Not Mr ‘Hey it’s my hometown they’ll have a special room set aside for me’. So what are we supposed to do now? Turn round and ride home?

J – Well no. They can fit us in. They said we could stay in the manger.

M – Manger? What’s a effin manger?

J – Over there.

M – You’ve got to be joking. That! It’s a fricken stable! Do they call it a manger so they cant rent it out to suckers like you.

J – They said we could have it for free.

M – Free! Oh really! How bloody gracious of them. They are letting the PREGNANT WOMAN! STAY IN THEIR STABLE FOR FREE!!!!!! THANYOU VERY BLOODY MUCH.

J- Mary quiet. Someone will hear you.

M – Who Joseph? Who will hear me? Everyone else got here hours ago. You know why? Because they came on horses. Not stupid little Donkeys. And now they are all tucked up safely asleep in their rooms. Which they booked months IN ADVANCE! Oh shit!

J – What is it? What’s wrong Mary?

M – My waters just broke.

J – On the saddle? I was going to sell that when we got home.

M – What did you say?

J – Nothing. How about we get you into the stab… the manger, and get you comfortable.

M - What are you doing with that hay? You expect me to lie on a bed of hay like a pregnant cow?

J - This? I was going to feed the donkey. He’s come along way.

M – The donkey! You were going to feed the donkey!

J – He cost a lot of money. I have to take him back to the rental company in the condition we got him.

M – You are unbelievable. What kind of carpenter doesn’t even own his own bloody Donkey anyway. I’ll tell you what kind. A bloody useless one.
You know this kid isn’t even yours don’t you?

J – Mary, please. Calm down. You’re just tired and emotional.

M – Emotional eh. Well you would you be too if you were having the SON OF GOD!

J – Mary. Please, be quiet. People will hear you.

M – Well I don’t care. I don’t care if everyone knows that I AM HEAVY WITH THE SON OF GOD. And let me tell you something Joseph, when the messiah arrives things are going to change for me. No more riding around on rented donkeys for a start. What do you have to say to that eh?

J – Well I guess the planet could do with a new messiah. I just wish you had told me earlier.

M – Why? So you would have had time to dump me? Immaculate conception freak you out eh builder boy? Can’t handle the idea of havin your missus womb used for God’s work?

J – No. It’s just that I bet the owner of the Inn would have given us a proper room if he’d known. Now lets get you inside eh, here come those three blokes on camels. I’m, sure they’ve been following us.