Stiller and Segal.

Why do Ben Stiller and Steven Segal play the same roles in every movie they do? Wouldn’t that get a little boring? I thought actors become actors to play different roles.

I’m gonna write a movie about an ex Special Forces commando who has retired to enjoy the quiet life. He is a gentle giant and acts like he wouldn’t hurt a fly but isn’t afraid to walk into a bar full of good old boys playing pool and tell them to stop hassling the drunken kid with the limp and the stutter.
When the peace and quiet of the town is threatened by the baddie with the big house on the hill who has lots of armed men who drive round in pick ups, the ex commando has to take action. This action involves teaming up with the local Dentist. A young nerdy but strangely endearing big city boy who moved to the town to find Miss right and turns out to be as awkward with an M16 as he is with the ladies. After spending the whole movie following the commando around complaining about how he should be doing root canals rather than blowing up old gold mines that are full of stolen missiles that are going to be sold to terrorists, he actually has to dig deep within himself, shoot a baddie and save the commando and in doing so he and the audience realise he can be a tough guy. He also ends up scoring the town hot chick that was shacked up with the town baddie.

So after I write this movie I am gonna send it to Steven and Ben’s ‘people’. I’ll probably call it ‘Under Siege and under anesthetic’.
The trailer will probably go something like this….
“One man had spent his life staring into the jaws of death. The other just stares at jaws. These unlikely misfits must team up to save and town and in the process discover that friendship can spring from the most unlikely places.
Introducing this years hottest action duo……….”

I bet ya Segal and Stiller jump at this movie. And if they don’t I reckon I can make it by editing scenes from all their other movies anyway.